Cat Ears
by WackoPig
Summary: One-shot. Levi is relaxing from a long day and Hanji comes to visit while wearing a very peculiar accessory. Female Hanji.


**I do not own Attack on Titan.**

 **Warning, I used female Hanji.**

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 **Author's Note: This story is based on an item I bought at comic con while cosplaying.**

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Levi Ackerman took a long sip of his tea, enjoying the silence after yet another stressful day of babysitting the new recruit brats and Eren. He closed his eyes to further enjoy the silence, but as he almost completely reached inner peace, the sound of tiny jingle bells interrupted his short meditation. He opened his eyes to search for the annoying sound.

The jingles came closer until they were right outside the mess hall door. Levi grabbed his trusty knife and prepared for the door to open, mentally making a plan of attack. The door flew open and Levi lunged but stopped right before hitting the person standing in the doorway.

"What the heck, Hanji?" Levi asked.

"Hey Levi, I thought I'd stop by and see how you're doing," the insane captain said. They were concealed by the shadows but Levi could see it was Hanji based on their glasses and voice.

"You could've sent word beforehand," Levi said, crossing his arms.

"Well, I was thinking impulsively, and I was already in town."

"Ugh, fine you can come in," Levi said, stepping out of the doorway. Hanji entered the dimly lit hall and Levi could clearly see her. "What in the Walls are you wearing?"

"Oh you like them? They're called 'cat ears,'" Hanji said, touching the black cat ears she was wearing on her head. On the bottom of each ear was a bell and a bow tied from blue and white ribbon. Levi, at least, found the cause of the jingling sound he had heard.

"Why?" was all Levi could say.

"Because they're cool looking!" Hanji exclaimed.

"Sh, the brats are sleeping," Levi warned.

"Oh sorry," Hanji said, whispering, then perked up a bit, "I brought you something."

"What?" Levi asked curiously.

"Close your eyes..." Hanji said, grinning wildly.

"Tch, fine," Levi said, closing his eyes. He suspected that Hanji had gotten him a matching pair of ears. A jingling sound in his ears confirmed his suspicion.

"Now open!" Hanji exclaimed.

Knowing he'd regret the choice he made by being this mad woman's friend, Levi opened his eyes to see Hanji holding out a mirror. He took it and looked into it.

On his head was a pair of ears identical to Hanji's. They looked awful on him.

They made him look... _cute_.

Levi cautiously touched one of the bells, trying to keep his face neutral, not wanting Hanji to see his disgust and have her break down crying, waking up the whole castle full of brats. He looked up to see Hanji smiling like Levi was the one who gave _her_ the gift.

"Thank you Hanji, how very... thoughtful of you," Levi said, chosing his words carefully and keeping his tone light as he felt his dignity wither away. He was glad that all the recruits were asleep and weren't watching this humiliating scene.

"I'm glad you like them. I also got one for Mike and Erwin," Hanji said.

"Oh I bet they're going to _love_ them," Levi said with slight sarcasm.

"Oh they did. They're out in the hall, watching your reaction," Hanji said brightly.

"What?!" Levi demanded, looking at the door in shock in time to see Mike and Erwin ducking back behind the door. Levi yanked the ears off, throwing them on the table and stalking to the door, pulling the door open and shutting it when he exited into the hall. Hanji watched, silently grinning, knowing that the two men in the hall were in for it.

"Oh hey, Levi, how's it going?" Erwin asked from the hall, "Wait, what are you doing?"

The next sounds to follow were of Erwin and Mike howling in pain and the sounds of Levi kicking both men repeatedly.

"Hanji? What's going on?" Eren Jaeger asked groggily, coming in from one of the other doors that led to the dungeon.

"Oh hi, Eren. Look what I gave Levi!" Hanji exclaimed showing the teen the cat ears. Eren's eyes went wide and he covered his mouth to conceal a laugh.

"Oh I really wish I could see him in them," Eren said, laughing quietly to avoid Levi's wrath being turned towards him.

"Well it's a good thing I got pictures," Hanji said, holding up a camera.

"Captain Levi's going to kill you when he finds out that you took pictures of him," Eren said, trying to sound serious, but he kept thinking about Captain Levi in cat ears.

Just then, the hallway outside the door grew quiet and the door creaked open as Levi came back in. Eren ducked underneath the nearest table to avoid Levi seeing him.

"Are they dead?" Hanji asked curiously, like she was asking about the weather rather than the well-being of her friends.

"Of course not, idiot. But, I made sure that Erwin and Mike will be hurting for months after tonight," Levi said nonchalantly, sitting back down and continued to drink his tea, right over where Eren was hiding. The man's foot was just inches away from Eren's face.

Eren stood as still as he could, knowing that any sound he made would surely cause him the same punishment as the Commander and Captain out in the hall.

"Who were you talking to?" Levi asked, taking another sip out of his cup.

"Oh no one, just myself," Hanji said. Levi squinted his eyes in suspicion and was going to press further but rolled his eyes instead.

"Well, we all know you're crazy, didn't think you were _that_ insane," he said.

"Yep, that's me, Hanji Zoe the insane!" Hanji said brightly, "Now I think that I'll just be going now..."

Hanji started walking backwards to the door before turning around and running away. Levi looked after her curiously for a moment before returning his focus back to his tea and the silence around him.

"So...Jaeger, are you going to tell me why you are awake or are you just going back to bed?" He asked, not bothering to look under the table. Eren shot out from his hiding place and raced downstairs back to his room.

"Stupid brat," Levi said into his cup, glancing at the cat ears lying across the table, "they're all just a gigantic hoard of idiotic brats."

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 **I hope you liked this. If not, that's alright, I mainly did this for my own enjoyment, I've been _dying_ to write this since the con when I came home wearing cat ears.**

 **I'll leave it to you to guess who I was dressed as down in the reviews.**


End file.
